yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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