Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Randomize
