and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
