How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
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