You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
