would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
