your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
