She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I forget how to act sober
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
