i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
