i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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