last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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