I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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