he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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