what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
