Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
