so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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