areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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