: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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