pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
