David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
