He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
