Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
