Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
