she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
