i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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