i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
