I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
