We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
