covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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