I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
