no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
