she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Randomize
