Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
