My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
