He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
