This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
