Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
