This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
