and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
where does the pee come out of this thing
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
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