i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
