he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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