I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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