gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
