nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
