yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
