I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
