he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
