i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
