I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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