no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
