Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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